OLIVER GOES TO NORFOLK
When I told my family that it was time to set out for our holiday in Norfolk, I didn't realise that Oliver was listening. I certainly didn't expect him to assume that he was coming too. But what can you do when a fifteen-inch high ball of golden fluff excitedly staggers up to you loaded with 2 suitcases, a picnic hamper, a deckchair and five keyrings all labelled 'Oliver'? So, this is Oliver's diary, just as he wrote it, except that I've corrected his (atrocious) spelling. I've also included punctuation, because, as Oliver says, 'Bears don't do dots.' You will, no doubt, notice his preoccupation with food!
Sue
SATURDAY
When I heard Sue say 'Holiday' I thought it meant sharp thorns, like the holly last Christmas, which I sat on. Ow! Then she talked about boats and trains and lots of ducks, and I knew it would be something nice. I don't know why she wouldn't let me take my red devil Hallow'een suit or my black satin tailcoat and white silk shirt, but she said they weren't suitable. She also made me unpack my train set, spaceman's helmet, big toy parrot, alarm clock with bells, wellie boots, skateboard and tin of choccie bickies. And the cat.I waved to everyone out of the car windows, till Sue made me sit on the floor. She said I was distracting people, but it wasn't my fault that a little girl waved back while she was drinking orange juice and it went all over her mum.
It didn't take long to get to the place we were staying, in Wroxham, Norfolk, right by the river. I was soon relaxing on the veranda, watching the boats and ducks. One gave me a feather - a duck, not a boat. Boats don't have feathers, though I think Catamarans might be furry. I put the feather in my scrapbook. Later, we walked around the marina, and I saw a boat with Rosie and Jim peeping from the window. I like Rosie and Jim, I watch them on television so I wanted to go and say hello, but I couldn't jump across the water.SUNDAY
After my usual breakfast of honey and bacon sarnies, honey and toast, honey-covered cornflakes and tea (with plenty of honey), I had a wash - why do bees make their honey so sticky? We went to visit a stately home called Blickling Hall, which was built in the early 17th Century, one of England's great Jacobean houses - I'm not sure what that means, but I think it means it's very old. As Sue is a member of the National Trust we didn't even have to pay, and we explored the rooms which were full of wonderful paintings, carved furniture and plush sofas. The beds were enormous with curtains and canopies. I wish I had a bed like that. I usually sleep on a pink cushion on Sue's black leather office chair. She doesn't know, but at night I make it spin round and round and round.
The gardens at Blickling Hall were beautiful, and I sat amongst the lavender which smelled lovely. Sue told me that some teddies are stuffed with lavender and people use them to scent their bedrooms. I hurried off quickly. There was a secondhand bookshop at Blickling, and Sue was very pleased because she found an old annual which she'd had when she was small. She told me that it contained a story about a little girl who was going to be May Queen, so she asked her mummy to call her early. Sue always wondered why the little girl wanted to be called 'Early' instead of her real name!We had a delicious meal at Blickling, followed by strawberries and cream.
MONDAY
We went to Great Yarmouth, but it rained. Most of the day Sue carried me in a 
plastic bag to stop me getting wet. She bought me a bunch of feathers on a loop to fit over my ear. It makes me look a bit like a duck.Later we visited a craft centre called Wroxham Barns, where I bought loads of fudge. I also sampled the cider. Several times. Sue bought a notice to hang up at home which says, 'Some people have interesting lives. Other people have tidy houses.' I think Sue must have a very, very, very, very interesting life! (Are you being cheeky? Sue.) I went to the little fair, too. There was a Peter Pan railway and a roundabout. Then I found a shop which sold lots of different kinds of honey!
plastic bag to stop me getting wet. She bought me a bunch of feathers on a loop to fit over my ear. It makes me look a bit like a duck.Later we visited a craft centre called Wroxham Barns, where I bought loads of fudge. I also sampled the cider. Several times. Sue bought a notice to hang up at home which says, 'Some people have interesting lives. Other people have tidy houses.' I think Sue must have a very, very, very, very interesting life! (Are you being cheeky? Sue.) I went to the little fair, too. There was a Peter Pan railway and a roundabout. Then I found a shop which sold lots of different kinds of honey!TUESDAY
We have hired a boat for two days. It has lots of comfy seats and a tiny kitchen, called a galley. As soon as we climbed on board, I looked at the map of the Broads to work out which way to go. Once Sue had pointed out that we had to follow the blue route, and we couldn't go along the yellow route, as I first thought, as yellow meant roads, I decided that we would go to Ranworth where we could moor and have our lunch. I am captain of this boat, and have to say things like 'Ahoy there', 'Splice the mainbrace' and 'Weigh the anchor', only I don't know what a 'hoy' is, I haven't got a mainbrace to splice and there aren't any scales so I can't weigh the anchor, though I do know it's very heavy. I don't suppose it really 
matters. It was lovely cruising the Broads, and we saw lots of coots, grebes, moorhens, ducks, geese and swans. Some of them had babies, and I lent over the side to throw in bits of bread. Sue held on to me because she said the water was very deep, though I think she's wrong as it only comes a little way up the ducks. Did you know that grebes sometimes carry their babies on their backs? They looked very sweet, enjoying their pick-a-back rides. Coots are funny birds - they have big grey feet with squidgy toes, and when you throw the bread they run very fast towards you across the top of the water. They made me laugh. It was a good job I brought my picnic hamper because I noticed Sue hadn't packed any bear-sized cups or plates. I gave the ducks my crusts, but I'm glad they don't like honey. I expect they like choccie biscuits, but I didn't try as I only had two. We found a very peaceful stretch of water, and saw an enormous heron. It flew right near the boat and scared me a bit; I thought it was an eagle.
matters. It was lovely cruising the Broads, and we saw lots of coots, grebes, moorhens, ducks, geese and swans. Some of them had babies, and I lent over the side to throw in bits of bread. Sue held on to me because she said the water was very deep, though I think she's wrong as it only comes a little way up the ducks. Did you know that grebes sometimes carry their babies on their backs? They looked very sweet, enjoying their pick-a-back rides. Coots are funny birds - they have big grey feet with squidgy toes, and when you throw the bread they run very fast towards you across the top of the water. They made me laugh. It was a good job I brought my picnic hamper because I noticed Sue hadn't packed any bear-sized cups or plates. I gave the ducks my crusts, but I'm glad they don't like honey. I expect they like choccie biscuits, but I didn't try as I only had two. We found a very peaceful stretch of water, and saw an enormous heron. It flew right near the boat and scared me a bit; I thought it was an eagle. WEDNESDAY
We went on the boat again. It was moored right outside our veranda, so we
could make an early start. As we went through Horning we admired all the lovely thatched cottages and houses which back onto the river. It must be smashing to live there, you could go sailing every day and have your own pet duck. We found a pretty creek which led to Ludham, and moored at Womack Staithe for our picnic lunch.In the evening we went to a restaurant in Wroxham and had pizza, which was delicious, even though it didn't have honey on it. And for pudding, we had three different kinds of ice cream.
We went on the boat again. It was moored right outside our veranda, so we
could make an early start. As we went through Horning we admired all the lovely thatched cottages and houses which back onto the river. It must be smashing to live there, you could go sailing every day and have your own pet duck. We found a pretty creek which led to Ludham, and moored at Womack Staithe for our picnic lunch.In the evening we went to a restaurant in Wroxham and had pizza, which was delicious, even though it didn't have honey on it. And for pudding, we had three different kinds of ice cream.
THURSDAY
An exciting thing happened today. We went to Sheringham, and bought tickets to ride on a steam train, on the Poppy Line. And afterwards the driver let me go in the cab! There really were lots of poppies, too - they grew all along the edge of the track, and shone bright red in the sunshine. The train chuffed and puffed and said 'hwoooo' as we went under a bridge. The shop at the station sold little shoulder bags, and Sue bought me one. She asked what colour I'd like, and I chose red to match the poppies. I can keep my pennies, jelly babies and hanky in it. Or, perhaps I could fill it with honey...?
We went to Cromer, too, and had delicious sandwiches, though they didn't have any sand in them. Ha, ha. I made a joke!
An exciting thing happened today. We went to Sheringham, and bought tickets to ride on a steam train, on the Poppy Line. And afterwards the driver let me go in the cab! There really were lots of poppies, too - they grew all along the edge of the track, and shone bright red in the sunshine. The train chuffed and puffed and said 'hwoooo' as we went under a bridge. The shop at the station sold little shoulder bags, and Sue bought me one. She asked what colour I'd like, and I chose red to match the poppies. I can keep my pennies, jelly babies and hanky in it. Or, perhaps I could fill it with honey...?
We went to Cromer, too, and had delicious sandwiches, though they didn't have any sand in them. Ha, ha. I made a joke!
FRIDAY
I can't believe that we have to go home tomorrow. I think I'll stay here for ever and ever. We went to a place called Sutton to visit a windmill. It was very exciting, climbing right up to the top. We had to go up lots of ladders, and, if you were tall, you had to keep your head down in case you bumped it on a beam. I was alright, as I'm only little. It was worth the climb, as the view from the top was amazing - I could see right across the fields. By the Mill was a museum which was full of old packets and boxes and tins. It was showing what life was like in times past. There were old-fashioned shops including a chemists and a grocer's, with big wooden counters and cash registers with keys like a typewriter has. Sue took a photo of me sitting on the counter, but I'm not for sale. Not really. Am I? 
Sue? Sue?
We went to a pub, and had the most delicious crab sandwiches. They were yummy. I like crab nearly as much as honey. If they had honey on, they would have been perfect.Then we went to another kind of windmill, called a windpump, at Horsey. This one was owned by the National Trust. I climbed all the way up to the top. When we came down, I had a chocolate ice-cream, and sat by the river watching the swallows. They were swooping over the water, catching insects. I'm glad bears don't have to swoop over the water to catch insects. Yuk!
SATURDAY
We had to go home today. I packed my cases, hamper and deckchair and was soon ready. I found some swan's feathers to put in my scrapbook, and I went to the shop to buy some postcards to stick in, as well. I'm a bit sad to be leaving Norfolk, but I've had a lovely holiday. Still, it will be good to see all my friends at home. I can show them the photos and my diary, and tell them about my adventures. I wonder if anyone else would be interested?
I can't believe that we have to go home tomorrow. I think I'll stay here for ever and ever. We went to a place called Sutton to visit a windmill. It was very exciting, climbing right up to the top. We had to go up lots of ladders, and, if you were tall, you had to keep your head down in case you bumped it on a beam. I was alright, as I'm only little. It was worth the climb, as the view from the top was amazing - I could see right across the fields. By the Mill was a museum which was full of old packets and boxes and tins. It was showing what life was like in times past. There were old-fashioned shops including a chemists and a grocer's, with big wooden counters and cash registers with keys like a typewriter has. Sue took a photo of me sitting on the counter, but I'm not for sale. Not really. Am I? 
Sue? Sue?We went to a pub, and had the most delicious crab sandwiches. They were yummy. I like crab nearly as much as honey. If they had honey on, they would have been perfect.Then we went to another kind of windmill, called a windpump, at Horsey. This one was owned by the National Trust. I climbed all the way up to the top. When we came down, I had a chocolate ice-cream, and sat by the river watching the swallows. They were swooping over the water, catching insects. I'm glad bears don't have to swoop over the water to catch insects. Yuk!
SATURDAY
We had to go home today. I packed my cases, hamper and deckchair and was soon ready. I found some swan's feathers to put in my scrapbook, and I went to the shop to buy some postcards to stick in, as well. I'm a bit sad to be leaving Norfolk, but I've had a lovely holiday. Still, it will be good to see all my friends at home. I can show them the photos and my diary, and tell them about my adventures. I wonder if anyone else would be interested?
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